Read this

Salt Sugar Fat by Michael Moss

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2013/02/26/172969363/how-the-food-industry-manipulates-taste-buds-with-salt-sugar-fat

This book examines the history of the food industy and reveals current practices from some of the food giants-such as Kraft and Nestle and how they have engineered their products to be the perfect blend of salty, sweet and/or fat. 
The amount of money and research that goes into food engineering is just mind blowing and it makes them millions and millions of dollars a year.
Definitely eye-opening and worth the read. 

Particularly insidious is how some of the food companies actively tried to challenge and put out of business home ec teachers and departments. Enter the rise of Betty Crocker as the perfect blend of modern convenience and happy homemaker, specifically marketed to get consumers out of the kitchen and away from making things from scratch.

After all the research though, the conclusion of the book comes down to 1 thing- personal choice.  Be armed with the knowledge of what's on the shelves at the grocery store then make the right choice about what you put into your body.

Click

I've been working with a wellness coach once a week to help me sort out all the stuff that I can't seem to get a handle on in regards to weight loss and working out, planning and prep, goal setting etc.

Honestly, about 1/2 the time I feel like it's pointless because I am NOT following my weekly steps needed to meet my goal in 3 months.
The other 1/2 of the time I feel encouraged to work.

It's because I'm a Pisces, right?  Two fish swimming in opposite directions, or in a circle depending on how you look at it.  No?  That's not it?  Darn.  That would have been too easy...

I've been waiting for the 'click' to happen.  For everything to fall into place and magically just work!
It's happened to me twice that I can recall and I desperately want to get back to that again.  The problem is, the last time was in 2009 before I went to Paris and that's not something I can recreate every day!
I was the poster child for clean eating, working out and feeling energized ('nirvana' I call it).  Every day was just momentum into the next perfect day.  I wasn't starving or deprived and I didn't WANT to cheat.

And now it's 2013, the END of 2013 and I still can't capture that feeling.  Waiting for it to fall into place and click doesn't work. Duh!  I wish I had that perfect motivation again but in the meantime I just have to keep at it.   Do not underestimate the power of a positive attitude! 

You can have RESULTS or EXCUSES but you can't have BOTH!

Excuses:   my horoscope sign :)     being lazy,  not packing gym clothes, not prepping lunch, not shopping, eating crap because I didn't prep or plan,  my overnight schedule

Results:  lifting HEAVY ass shit in the gym, wearing better clothes, FEELING better, gaining some traction that will help propel me into more/better/bigger results,  to be the 2014 success story!

As if!

Not unlike people who use WebMD to self diagnose cancer and other diseases, I use episodes of The Biggest Loser, Extreme Makeover Diet edition, and Hoarders for therapy.

My latest find is to behave 'as if'.  As if I'm already in shape and healthy.  As if I'm over my sugar addiction and into serious weight training.   It's the fake it until you make it concept and I think it can work but I've never applied it to weight loss.

Commitment-  make choices based on what my future self needs, as if I'm already there!

4 AM in the gym

So after 4 or 5 days of lagging motivation and a strong desire to EAT everything in sight I was feeling horrible- physically and emotionally.  You know when you just feel heavy?  It was like that but all day long.  Ugh.
Now compound that with the mental anguish of failing yet again, falling back to old habits when you thought those were in the past and you've got a recipe for depression.  At least for me that's what happens.  The cycle is familiar but so far I've been unable to stop it.
Since I now work late my workouts happen at 3 or 4 in the morning.  To say that I REALLY didn't want to go workout last night was an understatement.  I'd eaten 4 slices of pizza earlier, some cherries and 2 granola bars, 'cause why not, right?   Keep in mind that I've been close to sugar free since right before Easter.

The power of working out though is that it always makes you feel better when you're done so I went to our onsite gym.
Normally I go with a plan.  I know what I'm going to do- cardio, weight lifting, plyo etc.  Last night I got downstairs and just kind of wandered around like I was in an art gallery.
Did 15 sit ups just to do something.

And then I had this thought.  Stay with me because it's a little dark but I'll explain.  So you've heard that people can drown in just a few inches of water.  They panic and lose sense of direction even if they know how to swim.  The ability to calm down and assess your situation in a crisis could be the difference between success and failure.  Stand up or lift your head and suddenly you're free of the water.

I feel like I've been drowning with the stress and worry of needing to lose weight and get fit.  But then I remembered that I KNOW what to do.  I know how to stop the negative spiral.  I have the tools to make good choices. I can plan and prep. Stay calm and reassess. All I have to do is lift my head and stand up and I'll be free.


So, I lifted the shit out of some weight last night. I needed to feel strong and do the things that make me feel strong and powerful instead.   It was a random workout but it didn't matter at that point. I just needed to get something done, to move forward.   And, no surprise, it WORKED.  I feel better.  I'm not dwelling on the past few days.  I know what to do to stop myself from letting it go too far.   I'm sure there will be times when  I start to feel low and that's part of the reason for writing all this down.

I know this seems pretty obvious and even as I'm reading it back it seems ridiculously simple.
That's it.  Keep moving, don't let it get you down.   More to come!

And it's June...

I really hoped to be closer to my goal by now. Back in January the plan was to be at a certain weight- about 20 lbs less than where I am now.
Can't blame anything or anyone for it. It's a process and a learning experience.  It's hard not to get discouraged so I've been looking for words of encouragement, spending lots of time looking at Pinterest and youtube videos for motivation.
I signed up for the 6 Week Challenge on nerdfitness.com and then stumbled across this image.  Gotta love Ms Figure Olympia!

Heal

"Let food be thy medicine and let thy medicine be food"
-Hippocrates

Please try to watch these documentaries (available on Netflix).  Whether you believe all or just parts of them, there is some information and research that is just to important to ignore.

Shake

I make something very similar- I use protein powder and flax seed instead of chia but I'm excited to try that out!

Here is Fitness Rx's recipe:

Protein Packed Meal Replacement Shake:

This is a great option for breakfast or anytime you need a quick meal.

For this shake, I like a base of chocolate protein powder, as the flavor complements the other ingredients well.

1 cup of unsweetened coconut milk
1 scoop of chocolate protein powder
1 handful of baby spinach
1 tablespoon of coconut oil or 1 tablespoon of almond butter (either one of these will work as your healthy fat option)
1 small of cacao powder (Rich in antioxidants, magnesium & iron)
1 tablespoon of chia seeds (High in fiber & Omega 3s)
2-3 ice cubes

Blend and enjoy.