Oops

Well, I forgot to write every day of December.  I didn't even get 1/2 of the entries I wanted to do.  Luckily, I managed to get to the gym 200 times this year which means I get a full refund of my fees. Woo hoo!

Goals for 2014 include - writing more entries, getting to the gym 201 times and putting as much effort into my diet as I did my exercise this year.

Happy Thanksgiving

Woo boy... Thanksgiving dinner is over and done. All in all, not a bad meal.  I had 1 plate and 1 helping of each thing, extra turkey though.  Didn't eat dessert until hours later and then it was a tiny slice of flourless chocolate cake.  Mmmmmmm.......  Reset the sugar counter.

I've been catching episodes on this season's  The Biggest Loser.  Last night was a woman who is my weight and who also lost 12 lbs in a week.  In a WEEK.
How?  If abs are made in the kitchen and 80% of weight loss happens in the kitchen, not the gym, what the heck was she doing to lose that much?
Cardio, for sure but her diet must have been super strict.   I want answers!  Also, I want to lose 12 lbs in a week.  If anyone knows how she did it, please let me know immediately.

Go for it

That's right, Nicole!

Cheat with a capital C

Oh boy.  Well,some friends from out of town were here this weekend and I gave myself permission to have a cheat meal.  And a cheat meal turned into 2 1/2 days of eating and drinking and no working out.
We had a blast though! :)
I highly recommend the Great Lakes Brewery on Market Street if you want to enjoy some really good food and beer!

Resetting the no sugar clock too.  Sigh.  Oh well.   I'm not going to get down about it this time.  Keep on moving forward, eat clean this week, workout hard and get back on track.

1 week

One full week with no sugar!
Once I feel in control of this, I'll start reducing sugar-free options like gum and pop and keep my fruit intake down to 2-3 a week.

Side effects- my stomach is flatter and I feel way better.  The better I feel, the less I'll want to eat it.
I also passed the waist circumference test in the biometrics screening needed to get a discount for health insurance.  Woot!  I didn't pass it last year so I'm very excited to have made it this time around.

Miss Universe 2013

Taking a break from life to enjoy my favorite guilty pleasure past time- beauty pageants!

Congratulations to Miss Venezuela, Gabriela Isler who won the title tonight in Russia.   South America dominated the top 5 as they often do.

Day 4- No Sugar. Ate a little too much during the pageant party but still no sugar.  Time to scale back the amount of fruit as it's a large source of sugar to once or twice a week.

Motivate, part 2

Don't Punk Out- Stay Disciplined

Day 3- No sugar.  However, I did concoct an oats/unsweetened coconut/cocoa/peanut butter no bake cookie sweetened with a little bit of Truvia.  Cheating? Maybe!  It was enough to get me over the hump and hopefully it will be smoother sailing now.   :)

Motivate

I love the bodybuilding.com website, especially the  transform section. The before and after stories and pix are so motivating.
I especially love that it caters to all levels of fitness and they don't ignore beginners.  Check out this nice little piece about motivation:

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/start-strong-9-beginner-motivation-tips.html

1.  Recognize your drive.   Write down the reasons for your motivation down and put them around the house, car, gym bag or where ever you are most likely to see them.

Here's what's fueling my fire.  I want to feel better AND look better.  I want to wear cute clothes. I want to be strong.  I want to have killer arms and shoulders.

LOVE this before and after pic:

Cute clothes:

 Strong + killer arms and shoulders:

Day 2 - No sugar

Taking a little break

I've been feeling super run down lately.  Actually for a month or so.  I have no energy, haven't been sleeping well and my food is all over the place. I'm taking a few nights off work to try to reset things and get it under control.  Still going to work out though!
I am seeing the endocrinologist tomorrow which will most likely result in some blood work.  I'm sure I am vitamin D deficient too, as are many folks from NE Ohio.  Plus, it's dark now at 5pm which all leads to this perfect storm of feeling lousy.  Hoping to get some answers soon.


Day 1 (again)  No sugar

Menchies TKO

1 day.  1 DAY and my sugar- free days counter has to be reset to 0.  Full disclosure-  chocolate vanilla swirl with coconut and hot fudge.  I can't even say I enjoyed it.  I felt so guilty eating it but I kept on going.  Menchies won this round but not the fight.

Some much needed words of encouragement and advice reposted from my friend Michelle.  Thanks!  I need this today.
Also,  going to the gym later for some serious metabolic strength training.

Break on Through to the Other Side

The restorative powers of a good work out are amazing.  Seriously, it just helps reframe your whole day and outlook when you take some time to work up a good sweat.

Day 1-  no sugar.   Slipped up and had a little bit of queso dip at Qdoba before I realized what I was doing.  Although there was probably some sugar in it, the primary ingredient isn't sugar and isn't sweet to taste.

Sweetie Pie

How many times a week do you eat dessert?
Daily? Weekly? Less than that?

I bet it adds up to more than you think it does.   I remember something that the inspirational  Tosca Reno talked about in one of her books.  Dessert adds up!  Think about if you had dessert once a week after dinner.   That's 52 desserts.  Now add in birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, parties, graduations, weddings, office parties and other celebrations.  And let's face it, the holidays start in October and run until January.  The chances that you'll be around cookie trays and other goodies is high!  So, do you eat the cookie(s) that your co-worker brought in and skip dessert the rest of the week or are you still eating one of the 52 that you'd normally have?
Looking at it this way is eye-opening, isn't it?   Can your body tolerate that much sugar?  Are you able to balance out these treats by clean eating and exercise?
(I have a hunch that if you are eating clean and working out, you are probably not indulging in this much dessert.)
Next time you wonder why weight loss has slowed down or why you're stuck in a rut, jot down all the times you had something sweet over the past few weeks.  You may be surprised at how much you're actually consuming.
I've written about how sugar is addictive and how well my body responds when I eliminate it from my diet.  It's also so freaking hard to stop eating. 
I am going to start posting how many sugar-free days I've had, sort of like those work safety signs- "49 days accident free".   If I break the streak, I'll post what I ate and how much of it. 

Trick or Trick

Oh Halloween,  the most sugary of holidays.  Why must I love candy so much?   I remember, it's the SUGAR!  Eeeeevil sugary sugar.  No treats here- just a massive headache waiting to happen.

Luckily I am stronger than a tootsie roll and have not given in to temptation despite 2 bags of candy on the counter.  I don't want to be the person who hands out toothbrushes on trick or treat night but I did buy candy that I most likely won't eat as a way around it.

Didn't eat candy at work either.   Major triumph!

Before and After- awesome inspiration

The amazing Erin Stern.  Seriously, I'd be happy looking like her 'before' picture!

And, the new Ms Olympia Figure,  Nicole Wilkins.  This was 9 years in the making!

Proof that even the pro's had to start somewhere and that it takes years of hard work and dedication to look this good.  It doesn't happen overnight!

In the wee small hours of the morning...

Last March I took a job that required me to work overnights, as in 9.30 pm until 6 in the morning.  Besides getting used to a completely new schedule I had to figure out how to eat and workout.  Try eating at 3 am.  It's quite an adjustment!
Luckily, we have a gym on site at work and it's open all night.  Bonus is that it's almost always empty and I can listen to whatever music I want to!
I have to say that I was very worried about gaining weight.  Many people who work overnight rely on massive amounts of coffee and snacks to stay awake all night long and the vending machines are always a super convenient way to pack on the pounds.

Well, I started out doing a pretty good job but recently have had more and more trouble planning and preparing for a long night of work.  It doesn't take much to throw my schedule off balance and even on my days off I keep the same hours.  Being sick or having a day time training class and it all goes out the window.

Here's the plan so far:

3pm-3:30 -wake up and take meds

4pm  -  eat  “breakfast”   carb/protein/healthy fat OR  quick protein

7pm  -  meal 2  - most likely dinner with the family -  keep it a lighter portion and save ½ for eating later on

10pm – snack/small meal

12 am- workout

1 am-  post work out protein/snack

4 am  snack/small meal

6.30am-7am protein snack ( if needed) post workout

7.30am-8am bedtime!

4 of these meals should be eaten at work which means that I have to prep and take my food every day.  I wish it was easier and sometimes I really wish I had someone who would just make all this stuff for me but no one ever said it would be easy and in the grand scheme of things, if this is the most difficult thing I have to overcome, I'm doing pretty good!

WWDLBD?

I got the chance to meet Dana Linn Bailey at the Lakewood Civic. She is tiny and massive at the same time. Seriously, she has the biggest shoulders I've ever seen but it works.
It was exciting to see her up close. You can tell she works her butt off everyday to look like that.  And she seems genuinely sweet and enjoys her fans.  
I got a signed photo that's hanging in my cube at work.  Whenever I feel blah I look at her pic and say 'what would DLB do?'  That usually gets me going!

Imitation was rampant at the Lakewood show- lots of girls were rocking her haircut!

Read this

Salt Sugar Fat by Michael Moss

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2013/02/26/172969363/how-the-food-industry-manipulates-taste-buds-with-salt-sugar-fat

This book examines the history of the food industy and reveals current practices from some of the food giants-such as Kraft and Nestle and how they have engineered their products to be the perfect blend of salty, sweet and/or fat. 
The amount of money and research that goes into food engineering is just mind blowing and it makes them millions and millions of dollars a year.
Definitely eye-opening and worth the read. 

Particularly insidious is how some of the food companies actively tried to challenge and put out of business home ec teachers and departments. Enter the rise of Betty Crocker as the perfect blend of modern convenience and happy homemaker, specifically marketed to get consumers out of the kitchen and away from making things from scratch.

After all the research though, the conclusion of the book comes down to 1 thing- personal choice.  Be armed with the knowledge of what's on the shelves at the grocery store then make the right choice about what you put into your body.

Click

I've been working with a wellness coach once a week to help me sort out all the stuff that I can't seem to get a handle on in regards to weight loss and working out, planning and prep, goal setting etc.

Honestly, about 1/2 the time I feel like it's pointless because I am NOT following my weekly steps needed to meet my goal in 3 months.
The other 1/2 of the time I feel encouraged to work.

It's because I'm a Pisces, right?  Two fish swimming in opposite directions, or in a circle depending on how you look at it.  No?  That's not it?  Darn.  That would have been too easy...

I've been waiting for the 'click' to happen.  For everything to fall into place and magically just work!
It's happened to me twice that I can recall and I desperately want to get back to that again.  The problem is, the last time was in 2009 before I went to Paris and that's not something I can recreate every day!
I was the poster child for clean eating, working out and feeling energized ('nirvana' I call it).  Every day was just momentum into the next perfect day.  I wasn't starving or deprived and I didn't WANT to cheat.

And now it's 2013, the END of 2013 and I still can't capture that feeling.  Waiting for it to fall into place and click doesn't work. Duh!  I wish I had that perfect motivation again but in the meantime I just have to keep at it.   Do not underestimate the power of a positive attitude! 

You can have RESULTS or EXCUSES but you can't have BOTH!

Excuses:   my horoscope sign :)     being lazy,  not packing gym clothes, not prepping lunch, not shopping, eating crap because I didn't prep or plan,  my overnight schedule

Results:  lifting HEAVY ass shit in the gym, wearing better clothes, FEELING better, gaining some traction that will help propel me into more/better/bigger results,  to be the 2014 success story!

As if!

Not unlike people who use WebMD to self diagnose cancer and other diseases, I use episodes of The Biggest Loser, Extreme Makeover Diet edition, and Hoarders for therapy.

My latest find is to behave 'as if'.  As if I'm already in shape and healthy.  As if I'm over my sugar addiction and into serious weight training.   It's the fake it until you make it concept and I think it can work but I've never applied it to weight loss.

Commitment-  make choices based on what my future self needs, as if I'm already there!

4 AM in the gym

So after 4 or 5 days of lagging motivation and a strong desire to EAT everything in sight I was feeling horrible- physically and emotionally.  You know when you just feel heavy?  It was like that but all day long.  Ugh.
Now compound that with the mental anguish of failing yet again, falling back to old habits when you thought those were in the past and you've got a recipe for depression.  At least for me that's what happens.  The cycle is familiar but so far I've been unable to stop it.
Since I now work late my workouts happen at 3 or 4 in the morning.  To say that I REALLY didn't want to go workout last night was an understatement.  I'd eaten 4 slices of pizza earlier, some cherries and 2 granola bars, 'cause why not, right?   Keep in mind that I've been close to sugar free since right before Easter.

The power of working out though is that it always makes you feel better when you're done so I went to our onsite gym.
Normally I go with a plan.  I know what I'm going to do- cardio, weight lifting, plyo etc.  Last night I got downstairs and just kind of wandered around like I was in an art gallery.
Did 15 sit ups just to do something.

And then I had this thought.  Stay with me because it's a little dark but I'll explain.  So you've heard that people can drown in just a few inches of water.  They panic and lose sense of direction even if they know how to swim.  The ability to calm down and assess your situation in a crisis could be the difference between success and failure.  Stand up or lift your head and suddenly you're free of the water.

I feel like I've been drowning with the stress and worry of needing to lose weight and get fit.  But then I remembered that I KNOW what to do.  I know how to stop the negative spiral.  I have the tools to make good choices. I can plan and prep. Stay calm and reassess. All I have to do is lift my head and stand up and I'll be free.


So, I lifted the shit out of some weight last night. I needed to feel strong and do the things that make me feel strong and powerful instead.   It was a random workout but it didn't matter at that point. I just needed to get something done, to move forward.   And, no surprise, it WORKED.  I feel better.  I'm not dwelling on the past few days.  I know what to do to stop myself from letting it go too far.   I'm sure there will be times when  I start to feel low and that's part of the reason for writing all this down.

I know this seems pretty obvious and even as I'm reading it back it seems ridiculously simple.
That's it.  Keep moving, don't let it get you down.   More to come!

And it's June...

I really hoped to be closer to my goal by now. Back in January the plan was to be at a certain weight- about 20 lbs less than where I am now.
Can't blame anything or anyone for it. It's a process and a learning experience.  It's hard not to get discouraged so I've been looking for words of encouragement, spending lots of time looking at Pinterest and youtube videos for motivation.
I signed up for the 6 Week Challenge on nerdfitness.com and then stumbled across this image.  Gotta love Ms Figure Olympia!

Heal

"Let food be thy medicine and let thy medicine be food"
-Hippocrates

Please try to watch these documentaries (available on Netflix).  Whether you believe all or just parts of them, there is some information and research that is just to important to ignore.

Shake

I make something very similar- I use protein powder and flax seed instead of chia but I'm excited to try that out!

Here is Fitness Rx's recipe:

Protein Packed Meal Replacement Shake:

This is a great option for breakfast or anytime you need a quick meal.

For this shake, I like a base of chocolate protein powder, as the flavor complements the other ingredients well.

1 cup of unsweetened coconut milk
1 scoop of chocolate protein powder
1 handful of baby spinach
1 tablespoon of coconut oil or 1 tablespoon of almond butter (either one of these will work as your healthy fat option)
1 small of cacao powder (Rich in antioxidants, magnesium & iron)
1 tablespoon of chia seeds (High in fiber & Omega 3s)
2-3 ice cubes

Blend and enjoy.

Cycle

Using the clean eating principles, I started a new way of eating for me.  It's not a new concept but I've never tried it before.  I'm so grateful to my trainer for taking the time to sit down and talk to me about this because I feel REALLY good about doing this.

So what's the plan?

It's called carb-cycling and basically you change up the amount of carbs you have from day to day to make your body more efficient at using them up.  See this article on Wikipedia for some general information.

I am VERY happy to report that after 5 days of carb-cycling, I am down 3 lbs.

This  Dr Oz video does a good job explaining the basics. Although he talks about alternating high and low carb days, I am doing a high- low- low combination which seems to work very well.

I will also add that I walked around the mall for about an hour on Sunday, did a strength circuit on Monday and cardio on Tuesday so I'm sure the activity helped too!

Weight loss to date- 8 lbs

My most favorite Easter treat.  I had a handful of them the other week and that was all.  I think I finally have a handle on the 'no sugar' thing.     See you next year delicious mini eggs!

Clean

Clean Eating is the idea that the food you eat should be REAL - not processed within an inch of it's life. Clean eating eliminates white flour, white sugar, chemically and artificially enhanced food.

A good rule of thumb here is that if it expires in 2 weeks, it's probably clean.  

Food List

• Chicken
• Sweet potatoes
• Salad
• Steamed vegetables
• Oats
• Protein powder
• Frozen berries  (for smoothies)
• Whole grain bread
• Rice cakes
• Egg whites
• Green beans, broccoli, asparagus
• Protein bars-  emergency use only!
• Fish
• Greek Yogurt
• Cottage cheese
• Sugar free Jell-o/pudding/fugdesicles
• Fruit- berries, apples, citrus
• Water  (trying to drink about 1 gallon a day)
• Flax seeds, wheat germ, etc
• Fish oil, vitamin D
• Natural peanut, cashew, almond butter

The goal now is to create meal combinations from this list that have protein, carbs and healthy fats in each.

What else do you have on your clean eating list?

 

How beautiful is this picture?

Realize

I've been applying the suggestions we get for working out and eating but I still feel like I'm trying to 'undo' mistakes instead of moving forward.  For example, I ate 3 pretzel sticks today.  Not the best choice, I know, but my week is going to be focused on undoing the harm from those instead of moving on to lose weight.  It's hard to describe but does anyone else have similar experiences? 
Also, I am carb resistant in more ways than one:
- I take synthroid daily to deal with my thyroid
-I am insulin resistant
-I am borderline PCOS
-I am afraid to eat quinoa because it has so many carbs in it
-I'm in a place where 3 pretzel sticks is a 'bad choice'
What I'm realizing is that, for me, sugar and processed anything, white food/carbs can't be in my life anymore and it's a hard breakup!  Maybe when I've maintained my goal weight for a while I'll be able to occasionally partake and not gain 20 lbs.
I've said this before but it's like being an addict.  Once you are one, that's it. You can't stop being one, you can only do your best to control it. 

Transform!

I was selected to be part of a new group at our fitness center at work called Transform.  It's the first time it's been offered and I'm really excited to be part of it.
We meet twice a week for workouts and nutrition and, gulp, weigh-ins and body measurements.
I have big hopes for the next 6 months.  The support system and weekly weigh ins is going to help me stay on track.
Our homework for this week is about goal setting which is essential if you want to have success.

I have an interview today at 9 am.  I've been wearing my jeans for the past 2 weeks because it's the only thing that fits me right now.  I had to go shopping yesterday and now I'm squeezed into a pair of size 16 pants and an XL top.  As if I needed another reason to get in shape!
Rewarding myself with a super long cardio workout this afternoon.

Here we go... take 2

So a week ago I was on track for starting my new lifestyle, of getting strong and fit and healthy.  I was going to stop the endless talk about doing it and just START!
That hasn't happened.  I'm more aware of what I'm eating but I don't think I've made any changes to support my goal.
Hmmm...
This is how it begins.  This is how it's always begun.  Good intentions pushed aside for old habits. 

I'm going to enroll in a Healthy U Transformation program at work. The first meeting is tomorrow.  I think  I'm waiting for that before I do anything.

A few things I've noticed-  I want someone to tell me what to do, to eliminate the guesswork but when that happens I find myself rebelling.

During this next 6 months I expect change, not miracles.  I want to lose weight, not be at the end goal.
I want to stop thinking of this process as having an 'end' to it.  There is no finish line or if there is, it keeps moving to a different place.

Packed a good lunch today.  Eating well so far. Trying to drink all my water and tea.  I'll get there!

I'll post my progess- pix ,weight, the good, the bad and the ugly. 

6 months.  I can do it.